“Every human being is born to be a rebel in the sense of filling a space in the world that cannot be duplicated by another.” ~ Richard Rudd
Number 43
Gift: Insight
Shadow: Deafness
Siddhi: Epiphany
Programming Partner: 23 Simplicity
My Wisdom Story
“I worried a lot as a kid. My mind spun with speculations about the bad things that could happen, and how I could avoid them. My more sturdy brothers teased me for being such an emotional wimp. At school I was called “the brain.” I felt different and weird, and wanted so badly to fit in, to feel secure and be successful.
Ironically, my ability to anticipate problems made me a great programmer. No one could find and fix bugs like I could. Suddenly it was cool to be a nerd. As a young man, I had wealth and independence. Thrilled I could finally compete with my brothers, I dominated the conversation during family visits, talking endlessly about my successes at work. Deaf to their contributions, I showed off my latest gadgets, gave unasked for technological advice, and blurted out inappropriate comments about how big my abs were after hiring a personal trainer. I was too busy winning their approval to notice what a pain I was or how deeply I envied their relationships.
Then I’d go home and pull out my feel-good technology. I’d play video games, watch TV and surf multiple dating sites at the same time. Obsessed with “freeing up my time” to be more productive, I learned to operate my stereo, TV, Computer, car, solar panels and sauna, all from my phone. But instead of freeing up my time, technology swallowed it whole. The harder I worked to streamline my life, the more complicated it became. I couldn’t stop the noise.
That’s when I had a breakthrough Insight. Nothing I did, used or accumulated would ever make me feel more comfortable in my own skin, or like I truly belonged in this world. In one fell swoop, I cancelled all of my subscriptions and threw my TV and gadgets in the closet. And I got quiet. Really quiet.
All I did was listen – at first to the noise in my own head, then to the sounds of my home, then to the birds in my backyard. Slowly, I brought back technology. First the music, then the podcasts – touching ones with stories about real people who suffered and prevailed. That’s when I received the Insight that would change the course of my life. I’d create a radio show for and in honor of the people who felt like me. I’d call it “The Outcast.” That was just the beginning.”
My Gift to You
I am here to invite out the rebel in you – the poet, the lover, the mad scientist, the revolutionary. There is something only you can do. Something your entire life has prepared you for. It is time to take a risk, to shake up a system. You may make waves. That’s okay. Whatever you do, stop listening to the status quo. This is not about venting or blaming; this is about being creative and being open to love. You don’t have to know where exactly you’re headed, or why, in order to trust your inner voice. As you courageously forge a new pathway, don’t be surprised if your timing gets better and breakthrough Insights come your way. Dare to be who you are, and you will ignite the creative rebel in others, wherever you go.
Questions for Contemplation
- What are you worried most about these days?
- Do you obsess over your worries, or drown them out with busyness, outer noise, or your own talking?
- Do you ever feel misunderstood or like a misfit?
- How might your need to self-protect be deafening you to others?
- What might you do differently if you weren’t afraid of being different?
- Have you ever had a deep Insight or Epiphany? What was it?
- Track your worry throughout the day. Watch it shape-shift.
“If you love simplicity, you will manifest it around you.” ~ Richard Rudd
Number 23
Gift: Simplicity
Shadow: Complexity
Siddhi: Quintessence
Programming Partner: 43 Insight
My Wisdom Story
“My parents were servants of the upper class. To survive, they learned to be invisible and quiet. But not me. My mother said I was born with the urge to speak my mind. And nothing made me more uncomfortable than silence. So I made it my business to fill up my mind so I could full up the holes in the conversation.
As a young woman, my mind raced with knowledge, facts, quotes and theories, and my mouth spouted out complicated explanations for just about everything. I offered the Truth wherever I went. And I assumed that everyone knew what I meant, like they were inside my head. I had no idea that I often said the wrong thing at the wrong time, or that no one felt they could get a straight answer out of me.
Until once, a cousin on mine got honest. She said she was tired of being talked at, that what I said was so scattered and fragmented she could barely understand me. She said that my words were actually hurting people. I felt shocked, and ashamed.
But I also woke up. And I started listening. For the first time in my life, I slowed down enough to hear my parents’ story, and just how painfully silenced they’d been their whole lives. I also realized that deep down their pain and anger lived in me. All that time, I’d been carrying around a fear of being silenced, and of being seen as dumb and ignorant.
Now there are few things I love more than silence and Simplicity. My home is a uncluttered as my mind. Problems naturally dissolve when I’m around. Things that seem difficult become easy. When I listen, I listen deeply, and to all of life. I prefer to go days without talking. But when I do use my voice, I wait for the right moment, get to the point and speak from the heart.”
My Gift to You
Do you want to be happy? I’m here to encourage you to keep it simple and to slow it all down. You don’t have to solve every problem. Find the clutter in your mind and environment, and then let it all go. Notice how much more relaxed your body becomes when you release yourself from having to figure it all out. I invite you to trust that life has its own way of dissolving knots. Imagine yourself up above your life, looking down. How many of the things you fret about truly need fretting? Drop into a deeper stillness. Go for a walk. Smell the flowers. Listen to the breeze. And while you listen, breathe deep into your belly, and remind yourself that you don’t have to have it all sorted out in your head. Try accepting the moment exactly as it is…and see what happens. Beneath what you think…is what you truly know. Let your knowing, gentle heart lead the way towards luscious Simplicity.
Questions for Contemplation
- Do you tend to get tongue-tied out of fear, talk too much, or say the wrong thing?
- Have you learned to remain silent, even though you have something to say? Do you rarely share what you’re truly feeling and thinking?
- Where are you making your life more complicated than it needs to be? Where is your life calling out for greater Simplicity?
- Pick an area of your life in need of decluttering. Commit to releasing something (a thought, feeling, object, relationship) this week.
I hope that these offering have reached you in some way!
Much love and many blessings,
Kathy
Pathfinder's Healing Arts 
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